Pickle Liquor Lip Balm

We read on some mommy blog (after a drawn-out story about her grandmother's parrot and a rant about her grocery store's frozen meatball selection) that pickle juice is good for you, but we added gin just to be sure. Yes, it really does smell like pickles. No, we can't stop reapplying in horror. Every single name we came up with was wildly inappropriate, but genital puns always win in the end, am I right?

This balm is designed to melt into your lips, not into your jeans! Which is good, because I keep mine in my butt pocket. That would be embarrassing... It's got lots of yumminess in it: natural beeswax (you'll smell a little extra honey), unrefined cocoa butter (you'll smell a little cocoa too), unrefined shea butter, jojoba, sweet almond, and grape seed oils, vitamin E, and flavor oil. It's carefully formulated to give you the perfect balance of protection and softness, so you won't end up feeling greasy or waxy. My mom says, "Ooo, creeamy" every time she uses hers, if that's any indication. She has a little flair for the dramatic.

It comes in an oval plastic twist-up tube, which holds .15oz/4g and is individually shrink wrapped.